Greta Splendens: Quite Possibly the Best Dog

It’s been about a week to the hour since I came home early from work. Greta got up to greet me. After I bustled around the house a bit, I noticed that she was standing in one place staring at me. I thought she wanted up on the couch but wasn’t feeling up to jumping so I lifted her up. She sat there for a minute and then oozed slowly off to lay on the floor and pant. Her tail never wagged when I said her name. That’s when I realized it wasn’t good.

I’m gonna spare everyone the hours of trying to get a hold of my husband while crying and then waiting for him to get home, all the while exchanging text messages with A. who had gone through similar stuff recently and was an excellent support. We got Greta to the emergency vet and they confirmed that her tumor had started bleeding into her abdomen. One overdose of anesthetic later and she was gone.

I miss her dearly. My house is too quiet while trash thieves and children on bikes pass unchallenged. My bed is too big, my couch too empty. There’s no (non-poop fountain) dog here to eat my carrots, cheese, and crackers. It’s been a rough, sad week.

I’m glad we have Zille here. Her solution to everything is “Throw a ball.” It’s a good distraction. And by god, she’s an easy dog, which is something you could never say about Greta. But I don’t think she could have taught me nearly so much about dogs as Greta. I’m a better person for Greta being in my life.

I’m going to end this three pictures that I think encompass how I’ll always think of her: Checking to see if the dinner I was eating was for dogs with her tail a blur of hopeful wags, snuggling with me on the couch, and telling boats to fuck right off. I’ll miss you, Greta-face.

Greta begging at the table

Greta snuggling on the couch

Greta standing in a large body of water and looking away in the distance

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The InGretable Hulk

I was cleaning off a memory card the other day and realized I never posted Greta’s Halloween costume from 2015.

The mild mannered Greta Banner. Greta in a white lab coat with a name tag that says Banner and wearing glasses.

The mild mannered Greta Banner. Greta in a white lab coat with a name tag that says Banner and wearing glasses.

The mild-mannered Greta Banner was just engaging in some research, as Gretas do. Her glasses didn’t fit very well.

Then she went outside and there were PEOPLE JOGGING. OMG, PEOPLE WERE JOGGING.

Oh no, she got angry! Greta mid bark and jumping.

Oh no, she got angry! Greta mid bark and jumping.

Oh no, she got angry! Greta mid bark and jumping.
And the InGretable Hulk was released!

The InGretable Hulk. Greta painted green and wearing a purple harness.

She was so mad she rampaged on Stark Industries and Embassy of Sokovia.

The InGretable Hulk on top of a box with the sign Stark Industries on it.

The InGretable Hulk on top of a box with the sign Embassy of Sokovia on it

She even got into it with Captain America but then they decided to work together against the Canada Geese.

The InGretable Hulk boxes with Captain America. Greta on her back legs next to me in a Captain America dress

The InGretable Hulk sitting and looking at me

The InGretable Hulk and Captain America looking out and up

The end.

The InGretable Hulk. Greta painted green and sitting on the porch with a doggie smile.

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